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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28163733">Why a Doe?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treirina/pseuds/Treirina'>Treirina</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:41:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28163733</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treirina/pseuds/Treirina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus reflects on his patronus.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Fanatical Fam's: Holiday Fic Exchange</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Why a Doe?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drarry_Quite_Contrary/gifts">Drarry_Quite_Contrary</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic is a gift for the Fanatical Fics Fam Holiday Fic Exchange. The fic was written for Megs aka 'Drarry_Quite_Contrary'. &lt;3 fellow Megan.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Severus Snape’s patronus was unique. When he was younger, he had been in love with his best friend Lily Evans. One day, he got so angry he shouted words he never meant to say and lost his only best friend and crush. Over the years, he made sure to keep up with what she was up to. When he heard she was pregnant with a child he feared for that child’s life because of a prophecy. The prophecy foretold a boy who would defeat the current dark lord, Lord Voldemort. This boy would be born to parents who had thrice defied Lord Voldemort and Lily and James Potter were one of the two sets of parents who could give birth to the prophesied child. Severus begged and pleaded to save his former best friend and love but to no avail. Lord Voldemort killed Lily and James Potter, before trying to kill their son, Harry. He failed to kill Harry Potter though, and became a wraith, waiting until the day he could be reborn.</p><p>Severus Snape made sure to keep a watchful eye on Harry Potter. Unbeknownst to Albus Dumbledore, Severus knew where Harry Potter was placed and just who he was stuck living with. Petunia “Tuney” Dursley was Lily Potter’s sister. She hated magic due to the fact that she was not gifted with it. She resented her nephew and made sure his life was less than ideal. Severus understood rough lives, he lived one. He never intervened, only ever observed, and noted the goings on at #4 Privet Dr, the home of the Dursleys.</p><p>When Harry Potter finally made it to Hogwarts, Severus knew he had a part to play. He could not be seen helping Harry Potter aka The Boy Who Lived, because when his master returned, he needed to be able to join back up to protect the boy. Severus made sure that he helped Harry whenever he could easily get away with it with none-the-wiser. This was infrequently but Harry was never in any real danger. Severus made sure of that.<br/></p><p>Second Year and children were getting petrified. Not Harry though, never Harry. Harry’s friends were fair game, and Severus turned a blind eye when Granger got petrified. Served her right for being such a know-it-all and reminding Severus of Lily. Harry almost died when Lord Voldemort’s teenage self tried to escape a cursed diary. Lord Voldemort had a horcrux. This was BAD.</p><p>Third Year and Dumbledore thought it was wise to trust Remus Lupin to teach. Remus Lupin was a werewolf and tried to kill Severus when they were at school together. It didn’t matter that it was Sirius Black who orchestrated the whole thing. Naturally, Harry got caught up in trouble and Remus forgot to take his potion. Severus made sure to protect Harry, and his friends, but only because they were with Harry at the time.</p><p>Fourth Year saw Durmstrang and Beauxbaton visiting for the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Severus would have to keep a very close eye on Karkaroff. Also, Moody seemed to be acting oddly, more oddly than usual. He watched Harry every meal, constantly. He put the children under the Imperius Curse. Harry was somehow immune. How? Well, every little advantage will help when Lord Voldemort returns. Harry’s name came out of the goblet. Of course, it did. Severus had even more work now making sure that Harry survived. Could this year get any worse? The first task was dragons. Dragons! Harry was fourteen and had to face dragons. That kid had the worst luck. He did amazingly against the dragon though and actually tied for first with Krum. The second task had to do with the lake. There wasn’t much to watch. Severus spent the entire hour clenching the seat so hard his knuckles were white. After the hour was up and Harry did not appear, Severus was getting worried. Would he have to somehow get into the lake to save the boy? He couldn’t allow the lake to take him yet. Thankfully he appeared with the Merpeople and he even got bonus points because he was the first to arrive but refused to leave until all the hostages were rescued. Harry was still tied for first, but this time with Diggory. The last task included a maze and various traps. Harry seemed to do well from what Severus could see but then there was a light and instead of the winner being transported to the beginning of the maze, they were just gone. The Goblet of Fire must have been a portkey. A half hour after the winners disappeared, the Dark Mark on Severus’ arm burned for the first time in thirteen years. He was very worried, for Harry as well as himself. He would go to Lord Voldemort later and explain that he did not want to draw suspicion from Dumbledore, surely Lord Voldemort would understand that he was still a good double agent. Lord Voldemort wasn’t pleased but understood and allowed him to remain at Hogwarts to spy on Dumbledore. He was just happy he could continue to protect Harry Potter, though Harry stood his own against Lord Voldemort so maybe he didn’t need Severus’ protection.</p><p>Fifth Year and the ministry decided to interfere at Hogwarts. A toad-like woman named Delores Umbridge was assigned the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. There had never been a worse teacher, and Dumbledore hired Lockhart <i>and</i> Quirrell. The bar seemed extremely low for Defense Professors. Harry just couldn’t keep his mouth shut and kept getting detention after detention. There was nothing Severus could do but watch and hope Harry learned to keep his mouth shut! Severus also had to try and teach Harry occlumency. He was hopeless. Severus kept trying to get Dumbledore to teach Harry but to no avail. Harry just kept ignoring Severus’ lessons and then had the nerve to enter Severus’ private penseive. He saw some things Severus wished he’d never see, like how rude his father was, and how Severus hurt his mother. At the end of the year Harry and some of his friends deserted the castle to go to the Department of Mysteries because Harry was having ‘visions’ that Sirius was being imprisoned there. He wasn’t, but Harry refused to learn occlumency so naturally the Order had to save him, at the cost of Sirius Black, much to Severus’ personal pleasure. He would never tell Harry though.</p><p>Sixth Year and finally, Severus was allowed to become Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Severus had so many plans. So many ideas. Harry was even more rude than he ever had been, talking back, and being sarcastic. Severus lost his cool a few times because of it. Severus was also starting to worry because he was seeing more of Lily in Harry every day. This was bad for Severus because he was actually starting to like Harry, and not in a positive and protective way either. Dumbledore was also teaching Harry privately, showing him memories and taking him places. Dumbledore’s hand was deteriorating because of another horcrux made by Lord Voldemort. Draco Malfoy was trying to kill Dumbledore on Lord Voldemort’s orders but kept failing at every turn. Once, Harry almost got poisoned because of it. Severus put his foot down and forced Draco to confide in him and let him help, so he could keep Draco alive, as well as Harry, but Draco didn’t need to know about that. Draco finally got his chance to kill Dumbledore but couldn’t, so Severus had to do it instead. As he and Draco were escaping, Harry chased them and cast one of Severus’ own spells at him, which infuriated Severus as that spell was highly dangerous and Harry dared to use his own curse against him.</p><p>Seventh Year and Lord Voldemort had taken over. Severus was promoted to Headmaster and made sure to follow Harry’s movements secretly. Severus used Phineas Nigellus Black to correspond with Harry and his friends. Phineas was the only one who knew that Severus was trying to protect Harry, not spy on him for Lord Voldemort. During the winter, Severus knew that Harry needed to get the Sword of Gryffindor, the very sword in his office. He made a very good copy and tracked Harry down to give him the sword. He couldn’t let Harry know he was helping him though. When Severus cast his patronus, it was a doe, not the stag like it used to be. He used to have a stag patronus because of Lily, whose patronus was a doe. Now though, his patronus being a doe confirmed that which he feared. He truly was in love with Harry Potter, and no one, not even Harry, could ever know. After giving Harry the sword, Severus continued to monitor Harry’s movements. He heard Harry was captured by Greyback, though Draco helped them escape. At the end of May, rumors started to circulate at Hogwarts that Harry Potter had finally arrived. Severus tried to find him, to tell him he had to leave but he was nowhere to be found.</p><p>Trelawney had cornered Severus on the 3rd of May to tell him that he should beware a venomous snake and a run-down building. While Severus didn’t believe that Trelawney was a true seer, he made sure to keep a bezoar on him at all times just in case.<br/>
</p><p>Since Severus had a bezoar on him, when Nagini attacked after Lord Voldemort was through with him, he waited until Lord Voldemort and Nagini left and consumed the bezoar. He was still very weak, but thankfully alive when Harry came to try and save him. Harry helped him leave the Shrieking Shack and hide in the Forbidden Forest. After a long drawn out battle, Lord Voldemort was finally dead, and Harry came to find Severus and let him know he was safe to return to the castle. Harry made sure Severus got medical help and they actually sat and talked, like civilized people. Severus stepped down as Headmaster and gave the position to McGonagall and asked, only that he be allowed to remain as the Potions Professor. McGonagall agreed, and also told him she hired Harry as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. As she said this, she hid a small smirk. Severus just nodded to her and walked away.</p><p>Over the summer, Severus helped show Harry how to teach and how to make a lesson plan. Harry was a quick learner and, when Severus tried to tell him so, he just said that Severus was a good teacher. Severus didn’t believe that but let it slide.<br/>
Many of the former seventh years came back for an Eighth Year to make up for what they missed due to the Death Eaters who were teaching. Severus helped Harry teach his lessons when he was able and the two got closer due to the time spent together. Harry was able to look past the way Severus acted when Harry was younger because he understood it was all an act. Severus wasn’t the only one acting and Harry had come to understand that not everyone was perfect, not even Dumbledore.<br/>
</p><p>On December 24th, Severus invited Harry to his rooms for dinner, which was a common occurrence. When Harry entered, White Christmas by Bing Crosby was playing softly in the background and Severus had a table set with two fancy plates and two glasses of red wine. Severus said you order, just like they had during the Yule Ball, and the plate would fill with whatever you ask for. After a lovely meal, Severus and Harry moved over to the couch and sat down, talking. </p><p>Severus, getting up his nerve, slowly moved forward and kissed Harry, who froze. Severus pulled away and opened his mouth to apologize when Harry pulled him back and kissed him this time. When they broke apart, both were smiling. Severus told Harry he had been waiting to do that for a long time, and Harry replied that he had as well, but never thought Severus would be interested in him. Severus just smiled softly and kissed Harry again.</p><p>The next day at breakfast, the students all noticed something different about Harry and Severus. Neither answered any questions, but by the end of the day the whole castle knew that Harry and Severus were an item. On New Years Eve, Harry and Severus welcomed the new year with a kiss and Harry confided in Severus that this Christmas had been the best he ever had and that he got the best gift he could ever imagine. Severus kissed Harry again and they both looked forward to what the next years would bring.</p><p>The End.</p>
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